Dear Auntie, I know I’m going to sound old fashioned or sexist to you, but I genuinely need advice.
I am engaged to a girl and we both are in love with each other, all the time we are on phone, WhatsApp and other means to stay in touch, as it sounds awkward to talk in front of family members.
We both agreed that we should be completely honest with each other about our past so we can have a clean, fresh start without any secrets.
I told her about my past, I told her that I don’t believe in sex before marriage and have never slept with anyone before. I had a couple of girlfriends, but I never gone physical or slept with them.
Then she told me about her past, and i was shocked when she told she had a boyfriend whom she gone physical, mean slept with him. But she was really upset while telling me this, and told she repent on her sin and ask for forgiveness from Allah, she seems like she really regrets it.
But this thing has started bothering me, i am not sure my relationship will work or not, as the fact is, the girl am going to marry has had a physical relationship with another man.
It won’t work because you don’t want it to. If your fiancée had a crystal ball she wouldn’t have slept with the other man. But she didn’t.
Are you going to hold her past against her? Just put yourself in her feet, if someone whom you going to marry holds your past against you ?
Please understand that the people we have relationships with are not born the minute they meet us. She didn’t have the relationship to piss you off.
Your kind of thinking happens when you think of women as objects and not people. The ball is in your court. Do you want a loving relationship or do you just want to be first in a meaningless race?
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